Stranger in my own life

I can see it in your eyes, you think i'm a foolish nutcase.
My reasons for life, for death, mean nothing to you.
I know that my life will never be as hard as yours was, it was never that bad.
Yet your preach that everyones worst is still their worst, so why can't i be good enough for you? What requirement am i not meeting?
Maybe i'm just fucked up, if you want the honest take on it, the one i get from you.

So i confuse pain and pleasure. I associate violence and sex, and always have. I'd rather you hit me than hug me, cause hurt is alot more real than love. You can hold on to scars, you can't hold on to words. 
You can call me a fool for thinking this, but its what i believe. The only time i ever felt like i wasn't invisible was when someone was either mocking or hurting me. You can say "i love you" all you want and there's no reason for me to believe that... because no matter what i still feel transparent.
Invisible.