Emotionally Nauseated

"I wish i had a reason, my flaws are open season."

Isn't it true? I count the days till free reign. No more limits, not this time. Take the blades and draw all over my skin. Would you give me wings if i begged you to? Go deeper, further, more violent. Five, ten, a hundred, whats it matter?
Did anyone ever think they could break me of this? That they could get me to stop?
No.
It won't happen, i can't let it happen. Its mine, and mine alone. Maybe i'd let you cut me, and that would make it yours.
But it would be my choice. The only thing i could ever choose, that wasn't dictated to me was my choice of pain.

Nothing else affects me. I want it now. Tonight. But i'll wait, and it will be, beautiful at last.