boy

I think he must hate me. Somehow, on the inside, loath me as much as i loath myself. I just don't know when he tells me beautiful things, but he seems so far and so cold i can't break in.
Its like i'm whoring myself just to be his girlfriend. I don't know, maybe i'm pushy, maybe i'm a bad girlfriend, i don't know.
I wouldn't want to see me either. Part of me is angry and part of me is hurt, and mostly i'm just saddend at the fact that he really doesn't want me. I don't want to be like his ex, to let him push me away and have him blame himself later... cause it won't be his fault.
I never should have let this get started.

Fuck me.