My skin is crawling, i'm eating my words like pills..
washing them down with the alcohol the malevolent presence in my life provides, free of charge and always flowing.
I'm choking on the need to be loved. The longer it goes, the worse it gets, untill i'm wrapped in the arms of a stranger.
Not even for protection, cause it's never safe.
Because i can make them do anything. If i can't have security, at least i can have power.

He asked what i was doing to him... the answer was simply playing along.
At least i felt beautiful. So ugly, so horrendous, but beautiful.

I want to wretch and die... to paint myself pretty and innocent again.
But it's okay as long as you hold the ropes right? Just so long as you're the one who's lines don't get pushed...so long as you don't let him go to far.

I'm a control freak.