tight

my heart is tight in my chest thinking about any of this.
I don't want pity, I don't want fake pity. All I want to know is weather he's mad at me or not. I have this thing...ah, paranoia. I'm absolutly convinced in my own head that he's really really mad at me. All I wish is that he would actually just answer that question for me and not dart around it.
I regret being me.
as if I ever got a chance to choose.