I take my time and watch it fade away, feel a twinge of guit at realizing that I let myself get let down.

Let myself get carried away in believing it'd be perfect.
All in all, we had a good summer.
We had two good summers.
Summer steeped in angst and anger, magic and love and the hideous things that creep into the hearts of little girls.
I wouldn't trade it for anything, any more knowledge, any more people.

But time passes, people grow up, or they change, or they stay stubbornly the same. Liars, cheaters, friends, lovers. It's never the same and it's never ever right.

I'm cool. I'm toasty. I'm bored.

Realizing that you can't make choices for people, can't make them be smart, can't make them care, it all kind of stings.

It stings, but no more than a scratch, and I've made myself bleed too many times for it to hurt that much.

I'm not crazy on the outside anymore.
And this disparity is driving us apart.

I want to care, but all i can do is say "so it goes".
And we'll talk it out, and everyone will know, but it doesn't change that things won't go back to the way they were.

Cause i'm nineteen, and happy.